Moore Close, Less Close…

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Ordering a taxi with the London Taxicard Scheme from their Scottish call centre,  a verbatim exchange:

Operator: Where would you like a taxi to, sir?
Customer: Moore Close – that’s M-O-O-R-E – South West 14.
Operator: Very good. More Close, West 14.
Customer: No – Moore Close, SOUTH West 14. I had this same problem yesterday. I did the same trip and your operator gave the taxi the address in West 14. By the time I noticed we were going in completely the wrong direction, the ride ended up costing me three times more than it should have.
Operator: I’m afraid there is no More Close in South West 14, sir.
Customer: As I said before, it’s MOORE – M-O-O-R-E, not M-O-R-E. Two “Os”.
Operator: In that case, sir, it’s pronounced Mooo-er
Customer: You are Scottish, I think, and this is a call centre in Scotland?
Operator: Yes.
Customer: Perhaps in Scotland Moore is pronounced Mooo-er but in England it is pronounced the same as More, M-O-R-E. Thomas More, Brian Moore – same pronunciation.
Operator: No, it isn’t.
Customer: Yes, it is. 
Operator: Anyway, there is no Moore Close in South West London. The address doesn’t exist.
Customer: It certainly does exist. I was there this morning. A relative of mine has lived there for the past 15 years. It is a real address in a real city. Admittedly in England rather than Scotland. In London, in fact.
Operator: It doesn’t come up on my computer screen.
Customer: Well it does come up in my life on a daily basis. The next line of the address is Little Saint Leonards and the postal code is SW14 7LU.
Operator: OK, I’ve got it. You should have given “Little Saint Leonards” as the address.
Customer: No, Moore Close comes BEFORE Little Saint Leonards. It is the first part of the address, as it appears on post delivered to that address and as it appears on the street sign.
Operator: No, you should have said it the other way round.
Customer: Nevertheless, do we now agree that there are TWO Mo(o)re Close addresses in London, one written M-O-O-R-E?
Operator: (reluctantly). Yes. When do you want the taxi?
Customer: Now.
Operator: Any special requirements?
Customer: None whatsoever, thank you. Just a taxi. How long will it take?
Operator: I don’t know.
Customer: Thank you and goodbye.
© 2021 Adrian Mathews